When in Doubt
by CollegeNA-Twins
Summary: Rated M due to mentions of rape/non-con. It's mostly fluff though, promise.
1. Purple Heather

Purple Heather

Mathias stood, eyes closed, feeling the cool breeze pass around him and through his hair, his open hoodie fluttered behind him. Mathias couldn't remember where he was, which for some reason didn't bother him. The wind was strong, yet calming, bringing sweet scents of honey and rich pine. He could almost hear the sound of beautiful birdsong in the distance. Mathias found himself melting into this feeling of inner tranquility. It was too peaceful.

 _No. Something is wrong._

Mathias took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly as he opened his eyes. He let out a gasp, stumbling backwards. He found himself on top of a small hill, in front of him was a massive field of pink-purple flowers. The flowers grew in patches, multiple small buds blooming from long stems. Eyes wide and jaw parted he turned, and raised a hand to clover his surprise from the sight of even more of these purple flowers surrounding him, stretching for what seemed like miles.

 _Man, I have GOT to stop drinking. Where the hell am I this time?_

Mathias spun around again, hair blown into his face, desperately attempting to find something to give him a clue about his location. He ran his hand up his hair, pushing it back out of his eyes. Suddenly, he stopped, sight locked on the bottom of a hill where tall pine trees stood. As if acting as a barrier between the purple flowers and the pine forest, a stretch of yellow and white daisies danced in the wind. However, what stood out the most to Mathias was a familiar pale blond figure, wearing a light blue button up shirt tucked into black slacks. The man was sitting among the daisies, a small brown and white bird stood on his outstretched hand.

"Lukas." With a smile forming, Mathias let out a breath that he hadn't realized he had been holding onto. He and Lukas had been seeing each other for about five months now, and Mathias had never been so invested in a relationship before. But why were they here? Mathias vaguely remembered going out to celebrate Alfred and Matthew's twenty-first birthday the night before, and he was known to sleep walk when he was drunk, often waking up in odd locations, but why was Lukas here? Mathias watched as another small bird landed on Lukas' shoulder, and... Lukas was smiling. Mathias' breath caught in his throat once more at the sight. Lukas rarely smiled, usually only happening in response to Mathias or his brother Emil, and it was beautiful.

Mathias took a step towards the daisies, desire to hold Lukas in his arms driving him forward without a second thought. He barely noticed the wind picking up speed until it disturbed a large flock of birds causing them to erupt from the pines behind Lukas. Mathias snapped out of his trance, noticing the sudden lack of daylight as thick gray clouds quickly rolled in, thunder roaring in the distance. Mathias returned his gaze towards Lukas, who seemed unaware of the impending storm.

"Lukas!" Mathias called out, but he was still too far into the flower fields to be heard. Drops of rain began to fall, quickly turning the ground beneath his feet into mud. Mathias glanced up at the sky, then covered his eyes with a hand to block the rain as he turned his attention to Lukas. Why wasn't he reacting? Mathias surged forward towards Lukas, calling out his name repeatedly, only to be drowned out by the force of the wind. Suddenly, a sharp flash of light followed immediately by a large clasp of thunder, which seized the fields with Thor's might, causing Mathias to slip and fall in the mud with a screech of panic. When he gathered his senses once more, he stood, trying to rub out the pain in his back, and glanced up to Lukas, still sitting neatly surrounded by the daisies. However, a loud crack tore Mathias' attention from Lukas as one of the pines caught fire, apparently struck by the bolt of lightning moments before. Branches shook and began to tumble from their mother tree, down to the ground below, barely missing Lukas. Then, another crack. The whole tree was falling. Lukas wasn't moving. No. _No._

"NO!" Mathias screamed at the top of his lungs, racing towards Lukas. But he was too late. The tree and its branches swallowed Lukas whole. "LUKAS! NO!"

 _"NO!"_

"NO!" Mathias gasped for breath, bolting up straight in his bed, arm extended in attempt to reach Lukas.. Beads of sweat rolling down his neck and back. The image of Lukas disappearing under the flaming branches still haunted his vision, and left him shaking. Grip still tight on his sheets, Mathias ran a hand through his hair and attempted to bring his breathing back to normal. It was just a dream, but the knot in Mathias' stomach refused to unravel.

 _It was just a dream, Mathias. Lukas is safe._


	2. Marguerite Daisies

Marguerite Daisies

Lukas sat in the Student Center with Ludwig, neither conversing with the other, both with their noses in their textbooks. It had become a habit over the last couple of months for Lukas to spend his free time hanging out or studying with Mathias' friends instead of alone in his car. Lukas was never one for social interactions, but he had to admit that Ludwig's company was nice during the short summer semester. The pair wordlessly flipped through pages, occasionally scribbling something in a notebook. The study session was ended abruptly, however, when Ludwig's cell phone went off, one of the generic preset ring tones. The German man grumbled, set his book down and reached for his phone.

"It's Mathias." He huffed after checking the caller information, grabbing Lukas' attention before answering, "Hallo, Ma-." Ludwig flinched as Mathias yelled into the receiver, causing him to pull the phone away from his ear. "For the love of... Mat, slow down... Ja, I have Lukas with me." Ludwig glanced over to Lukas, looking for an explanation of some sort, to which Lukas could only provide a slightly startled shrug. "Nein, he is fine. Why are you asking me instead of calling him directly?"

The question seemed to be directed at Lukas, prompting the Norwegian to reach into his backpack for his own phone. He opened the lock screen to find multiple missed calls and text messages, all from Mathias. He looked back at Ludwig and whispered, "My phone was on silent. Sorry."

Ludwig sighed as he closed his eyes and nodded. "Ja... Ja. I promise you Mat, everything is fine." Lukas looked back at his phone and scrolled through the missed text messages.

"Are you okay?"

"Pleas Luke answer me"

"I need to know you're alright man. PLease Lukas."

"Yes, I will tell him. Ja. Yes, fine. I'm hanging up, Mat... Yes...Auf Wiedersehen." Ludwig pulled the phone away and ended the call. He turned his lock screen off, then looked back over at Lukas, "He is freaking out. He thinks something happened to you, and since you didn't reply he started worrying more."

"What the hell gave him that idea?" Lukas rolled his eyes. Obviously Ludwig was used to Mathias' spontaneous behavior, as his tone of voice suggested this was an every day occurrence, and Lukas wondered just how long it would be until he too would feel the same.

"Who knows? That being said, he wants you to meet up with him after your classes are done. You should probably call him back and figure all that out." Ludwig began packing his books, placing everything in a strict order within his messenger bag. "I have to go, Lukas. I didn't notice what time it was before Mathias called. My class starts soon."

"Calculus?" Lukas raised a eyebrow, and Ludwig visibly blushed. Lukas felt a sly smirk tug at his lips. Mathias had spilled Ludwig's secret to him during their last date. The intimidating German, whose voice and appearance drove fear into the hearts of passersby, was enrolled in baking classes, on the culinary arts degree plan instead of engineering like everyone thought. Ludwig wanted it to remain a secret, which Lukas found ridiculous, and aimed to one day open his own bakery or restaurant.

"J-ja. Ca-Calculus. Bis später, Lukas."

"Ser deg senere." Lukas waved as Ludwig walked away from the table towards the exit and out of sight. He then sighed, and stared once more at his phone. Before he knew it, a small smile grew on his face. "Mathias, you're such a dork."

Lukas arrived at Mathias' condo just before the rain began to fall. He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, letting out a sigh of relief. From under the protection of the stair case leading to Mathias' upstairs neighbor, Lukas watched as the sidewalk where he had just been became suddenly drenched. The weather had taken an abrupt turn for the worse, and Lukas was thankful he had avoided it. Turning back to Mathias' condo, Lukas straightened out his tie and knocked on the door. He placed his arms behind his back, holding a gift for Mathias, and he glanced back towards the weather. Almost immediately, Mathias flung the door open, starling Lukas. However, this time Mathias didn't greet Lukas in his usual overexcited manner. Instead, he was staring intently at the storm, muscles tense and showing little emotion.

"Hey, idiot." Lukas raised an eyebrow at Mathias' weird behavior, his voice seemingly bringing Mathias back to the world of the living. Their eyes met, and Mathias' lips parted without words, unreadable emotion flashed behind his eyes. Awkward silence fell between them for a few moments, then Mathias relaxed with a sigh.

"You're here."

"Well of course. Did you think I was-" Lukas was cut off mid sentence when Mathias wrapped his arms around him, pulling him inside the condo. Lukas was shocked, to say the least. Eventually he would get used to the sudden physical contact which seemed to come naturally to Mathias, which he silently admitted to himself that he enjoyed. However, it still surprised him when it happened. He shifted and set one hand on Mathias' arm, gently urging him to let go. Mathias' grip on him loosened, and he was able to release himself from his grasp.

"Sorry." Mathias' gaze shifted to the ground in guilt, "I know you don't like sudden contact like that. I'm sorry."

"N-nei. It's okay. I was just surprised is all." Lukas felt his face flush red, so he also adverted his gaze to a distant corner. "Oh. Um...Here, I got you these..." Lukas removed his other arm from behind his back, revealing a small bouquet of yellow and white flowers.

Mathias grinned, then flinched at the sight of the flowers. "O-oh. Th-those are Marguerite Daisies, right?"

Lukas frowned at his reaction to the bouquet. "Ye-yeah. I thought they were your favorite." He looked down at the daisies still in his hand with disappointment. Flowers? How could he be so stupid? "I'll.. I'm sorry. I'll get rid of the-"

"No!" Mathias grabbed Lukas' shoulders, a slight air of panic on his face. "They are. Thank you so much, really. I just..." He trailed off, staring into Lukas's eyes as if searching for something. Mathias then sighed, closing his eyes and then shook his head, "Never mind. Thank you, Lukas. I'll find something to put those in." He let go of Lukas and made his way into the kitchen. Extremely confused, Lukas shut the front door behind him and followed Mathias.

"Are you okay? It's not like you to be this serious. You've been acting weird all day, what with that call to Ludwig and all." Lukas inquired, removing his backpack and placing it on the ground next to the couch.

"Oh. Uhh.." Mathias closed and opened cabinets in search of a proper vase for the flowers. "I'm fine. Sorry. I just..." He closed another cabinet, then paused before shifting his gaze over to Lukas. "Don't laugh, but I kind of had a nightmare last night. I'm still a bit shaken up from it... I'll be fine, really. So don't worry about me." He let out a chuckle then resumed his search.

"Oh. I see." Lukas replied, taking his usual seat on the couch. After a few moments, however, he began to put two and two together. "Mathias?"

"Yeah?" Mathias responded, vase in hand and making his way to the sink for water.

"Did... Did something happen to me in that nightmare?" Mathias flinched again, and stared blankly at the running water. Bingo. "What happened?"

"I... It... Yes, you... at least I think..." Mathias stammered, and looked up from the sink and over the half wall towards Lukas. Fear and panic clearly showing. "I think you died." For a moment, the only sound was that of the running water in the sink and the rain outside. Mathias quickly shut off the faucet and began to unwrap the daisies. "But it was just a dream... and you're here now, I can see you're fine. So I'll be fine." He placed the flowers in the vase, and carried them into the living room.

"I died...? How exactly?" Lukas watched as Mathias removed an old, tiny wooden sculpture from the center of the coffee table and replaced it with his flowers.

"It doesn't matter, Lukas. It was just a stupid dream."

"Obviously not. And what does my death have to do with those daisies?" Lukas gestured to the vase with a nod, "You looked like you saw a ghost when you saw-"

"NOK, LUKAS!" Mathias snapped, turning from the bookshelf which was now the home of the sculpture. His eyes widened, as if he just realized that he yelled at Lukas, "Tilgiv mig. It just scared the shit out of me because of how real it felt. But really, everything is fine now, and I'd rather forget than talk about it. So can we please just drop it?" Mathias faced the shelf once more, reaching for a dvd case, "The latest season of Twice Upon a Time came in the mail yesterday. I figured we could watch it now. I mean, if that's cool with you?"

Lukas studied Mathias' back, curiosity prickling at his skin. "Yeah, okay." Mathias turned and grinned at him before turning on the tv and putting the disk in the dvd player. Mathias grabbed the remote, and took his spot on the couch by Lukas' side, placing an arm around him. Lukas sighed, deciding it better to not press it, and leaned into Mathias' shoulder as the first episode began playing.

An hour later, and an episode and a half in, Mathias suddenly paused the show and broke out into a fit of laughter. "Holy shit! This has got the be the cheesiest season yet!"

"Agreed." Lukas stifled a chuckle, hiding his smile behind a hand.

"Man, what were the writers thinking? And did the actors really not notice how bad this script is?" Mathias wiped a tear from his eyes, grinning from ear to ear.

"Are you going to start it back up, or what?"

"Dude, give me a minute." Mathias chuckled, lifting a hand with his palm facing outward, "I can only handle so much second-hand embarrassment at a time." Lukas peeked up at Mathias and felt a smile form on his lips. Mathias' laugh was one of the best things Lukas had ever heard. He watched Mathias calm himself down, and wipe more tears from his eyes. However, he didn't notice the movements of his own body until it was too late to turn back. His right hand planted itself on Mathias' jawline, his thumb brushed against his cheek silencing the Dane. Lukas' face lit up at the realization of this action. Mathias was staring at him, lips parted in surprise. He couldn't stop staring at those lips...

Shit. I guess now is as good a time as any...

Lukas shifted his position, bringing himself to be level with Mathias, then closed his eyes and brought his lips to meet Mathias' own. Lukas had never kissed anyone before. He and Mathias agreed to take their relationship slow, to keep at Lukas' comfort level, and he felt ready for this next step. Mathias sighed into the kiss, and pressed back with a smile. He wrapped his arms around Lukas' waist, bringing them closer together. Lukas's left arm met Mathias' shoulder, and he ran his hand along Mathias' back and up to his neck, through the back of his hair. Lukas moaned as Mathias nipped at his lower lip, asking permission to enter. Lukas gave it to him, parting his lips and allowing Mathias to thoroughly explore his mouth with his tongue.

After a while, they parted for air, both blushing profusely. Mathias groaned and looked away, embarrassed. "We... We should stop." Mathias mumbled between shuttering breaths, "I don't know if I can control myself if we keep this up." Lukas felt his cheeks heat up, realizing what Mathias meant. He wasn't ready for THAT.. Was he? The kiss was better than Lukas ever imagined it would be, it felt right, and he definitely wanted more. Making up his mind, Lukas slowly reached for the back of Mathias' neck, intent on bringing them into another kiss, when he was interrupted.

Mathias' phone split the tension in the air, startling them both with earsplitting techno music. It rattled on the glass coffee table, and they stared at it for an awkward moment. Lukas silently cursed the unknown number on the screen.

"Shit!" Mathias dove for the phone, "This is that job I was telling you about. I'm sorry I have to take this." He fumbled with the phone for a second, then as calmly as he could, answered. "Hello? ...This is him..." Lukas watched as Mathias' face lit up, then turned to panic, "Today?" Mathias shifted his gaze to the clock on his cable box. "In an hour...? N-n-no no that isn't a problem. I can be there. Yes...Yes, thank you. See you then. Good bye." Mathias ended the call, then tossed his phone on the ground. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair as the flopped back onto the couch with a groan.

"Do... Do you have to leave?" Lukas broke the silence. Mathias looked up at him apologetically.

"Yeah. They want an interview and asked if I could be there in an hour. It's a really good job, the starting wage is insanely high, so I couldn't refuse. I'll have to start getting ready, like, right now though." Mathias reluctantly stood, turning to face Lukas, then blushed. "I'm so sorry. You...You're welcome to stay here if you want. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Alright. I'll be here when you get back." At that, Mathias let out a sigh and grinned. He bent down and quickly placed a kiss on Lukas' lips, then hurried to his room to change.

"Expect a lot more of that to happen now, Lukas!"

Hallo: - Hello

Ja: - Yes

Nein: - No

Auf Wiedersehen: - Good bye

Bis später: - See you later

Ser deg senere: - See you later

Nei: - No

Nok: - Enough

Tilgiv mig: - Forgive me


	3. Incubus

Incubus

Mathias grabbed the pillow off of the couch, throwing it at Matthew who was entering the living room from the hallway as Mathias plopped into his normal spot at the Twins' apartment. The pillow smacked Matthew directly on the side of the head, much to the displeasure of the strawberry blond.

"Dude, not cool. Watch the glasses." Matthew snapped, rubbing where the pillow made contact.

"Sorry, bro. It was in my spot, had to go." Mathias grinned innocently as Matthew bent to retrieve his plush assailant. "Lukas should be here in about five. What's Gil's ETA?" Matthew glared at Mathias, then chucked the pillow back at him with all his strength, leaving little time for Mathias to react. The pillow hit Mathias square in the face, forcing a squeal from the grown man. "Dude! That shit is hard as a rock when you throw it hard enough, holy shit." Mathias rolled off the couch, clutching his nose.

"Serves you right, though." Matthew huffed in reply. "Uncle Gilbert said he'd meet us there, and-" Matthew cut off as Mathias lifted himself off the floor and dashed past him to the bathroom. "Are you okay...?"

"Dude, my nose is bleeding." Mathias replied, staring at himself in the bathroom mirror.

"Oh mon Dieu. Shit, Mat. I am so sorry." Matthew rushed to the door, panicked. Mathias reached for a tissue to clean himself up.

"Nah, I'm used to it. Alfred used to always punch me in his sleep when I'd stay over at your folks' house." Mathias grinned, tissue shoved up his nose. "But geeze, Mattie. You need to learn your own strength."

Matthew stood in shock, staring at Mathias. "I am so, so sorry." Mathias rolled his eyes with a smirk, turning back to the mirror to reexamine the damage. Matthew slipped away from Mathias' sight as the deep sound of a knock at the door rang through the apartment. Mathias listened as Matthew unlocked and opened the door, greeting the newly arrived guest. Two pairs of foot steps entered the living room, one stopping with a grunt as the owner sat on the couch. The other made its way closer to the bathroom.

"Mathias," Lukas' calming voice began, "Why does Matthew look like he's going..." Lukas turned the corner and stopped mid sentence at the sight of Mathias grinning and waving at him with bloody tissues in hand. "... What the hell?"

"Hey Luke!" Mathias sang, "Mattie indirectly punched me in the face, made my nose bleed. It isn't broken though!" Mathias quickly added at Lukas' worried expression. Lukas glanced around the corner into the living room, shooting Matthew a disgruntled look.

"He started it!" Matthew cried defiantly from the couch. "And I said I'm sorry!"

Lukas let out a sigh, "Honestly, you guys act like children half the time." He looked back into the bathroom at Mathias. They stared at each other for a moment, only to both turn away, blushing profusely. When Mathias had arrived home after his job interview three days prior, Lukas was gone. A voice mail was left explaining how Emil had called and needed Lukas to return home. Mathias was disappointed, as he looked forward Lukas being there to welcome him home, but he understood. The pair had exchanged calls and texts, however this was the first time they had been face to face since their kiss.

"You can just feel all the sexual tension in the air right now." A teasing voice broke their silence, and Lukas spun on his heels to find Alfred leaning against the hallway wall with a smirk, his arms crossed against his chest. "You guys ready, or do we need to give you a minute alone? Gilbert called, he's already there."

"I'm ready," Mathias said, tossing the tissues into the waste basket. "We can take my car. I'll play DD since I probably shouldn't drink."

"Rock." Alfred replied with finger guns. "Let's go. Mattie! Get your Dane breaking ass off the couch." Alfred called, then made his way into the living room.

"Oh my god, you guys are never going to let me hear the end of this, are you?" Matthew let out a defeated sigh. Mathias and Lukas exchanged one last awkward look, then Lukas turned to join the others. Mathias stopped him by grabbing his shoulder, spinning him, bring Lukas into a quick kiss. When they parted, Mathias grinned at Lukas' flustered expression, then took his hand leading him away.

The group of four piled into Mathias' Jeep, and made their way to a dance club of Alfred's choice a few neighborhoods over. Mathias found a parking space fairly close to the entrance, and the friends made their way to where Gilbert stood against a lamp post, waiting. Mathias caught Gilbert's attention by yelling his name, and the German man quickly ran to meet them.

"ALFRED!" Gilbert wailed, wrapping his arms around Alfred's head, pulling him into a protective embrace. Gilbert had been childhood friends with the twins' papa, Francis, and viewed the boys as his own family. "Ludwig told me what happened, but didn't give me a name! Who the hell hurt my baby? I'll punch a bitch!" The group chuckled as Alfred struggled to escape Gilbert's grasp.

"Dude, Gil, chill out. I'm fine. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up and realized he was taken." Alfred gasped for air as he finally released himself from the older man, "You know me, I bounce back fast. Let's just have fun tonight and not worry about it."

"Fuck that! My baby boy is heartbroken and obviously can't think clearly," The others giggled to themselves and Alfred rolled his eyes as Gilbert dramatically threw an arm back, placing the back of his hand on his forehead. "Everyone! Tonight we must erase this painful memory from the mind of my dear Alfred with an abundance of adult beverages! To beer!"

"Here, here!" Mathias cheered, granting himself a high-five from Gilbert."Although I'm not drinking. Someone has to drive you drunks home."

"Oh." Gilbert's playfulness disappeared, "I hope you have an extra spot in your car...I kind of pissed off Liz on the way here." He gestured to his empty side with an air of defeat. "Obviously as she isn't here... and she took the truck."

"I got you, Gil." Mathias winked, "But we have to head home around midnight, no later than one. I got a second interview tomorrow."

Gilbert's face lit up again, "Oh sweet! I knew you'd ace that first one." He spun around, facing the club and pointing towards the entrance. "Let's get tonight started then! Charge!" Mathias let out an excited cheer, then ran after Gilbert, dragging Lukas behind him and leaving the twins to catch up.

Once inside, the group located an empty booth and immediately ordered every single appetizer available. Gilbert took the liberty of ordering beers for the whole table, which neither Lukas or Mathias touched. The club was nothing like Mathias had seen before. It had a dining area similar to a normal restaurant which was dimly lit, most of the light coming from the large, circular bar in the middle of the open space. On the other side of the bar from where they sat, dozens of people were dancing to blaring music on a flashing neon dance floor.

"Well this is an interesting place." Mathias almost had to yell to be heard over the music as he placed his right arm around Lukas' shoulders.

"Yeah! Gil kept talking about it." Alfred explained, nodding towards Gilbert who was somehow already on his third beer. "He said its one of his favorite places 'cause it gives good stories to tell later. I figured I could use a good story after this, ya'know?"

"Agreed!" Mathias lifted his soda to Alfred's beer. They both took a swig from their respective drinks, as a loud cheer erupted from the dance floor, grabbing Mathias' attention. "I guess this song is popular!" He looked back at the group with a grin, then noticed Matthew attempting to speak.

"Dude, Mattie," Alfred shouted over the music,"We can't hear you. You're already super quiet. You might have to write shit down on a napkin or something!" Matthew glared at his twin, then reached into his pocket for his phone. He tapped away at the screen for a moment, then looked up at Mathias expectantly. Raising in eyebrow, Mathias used his free arm to take out his own phone to see what Matthew had sent him. He read the text message, then with a smirk looked up to the rest of the group.

"Mattie says he loves this song! He also sent me the name of it, but it's in Finnish or something," Mathias paused, receiving an approving nod from Matthew, "I can't pronounce it."

"No shit?" Alfred questioned, then finished off his beer and grabbed Matthew's arm. "Let's go dance then, bro!" Matthew's eyes widened as his twin forced him out of the booth and pulled him to the dance floor. Gilbert buckled over in his seat, laughing and obviously drunk by now.

"Mat!" Mathias turned away from the twins at Gilbert's call. "Lukas hannit had a singular drink!What up wiv dat?" Mathias had to hide his laugher at the older man, then glanced to his side at the ever-quiet Lukas.

"I don't think he likes alcohol, Uncle Gil."

"WHAT?" Gilbert nearly spilled his drink, gaping at Lukas in disbelief, who was now embarrassed and sinking into Mathias' side. "Nein! hav to drink SOMEthing, kiddo." He attempted to gesture to Mathias with a tipsy hand, "Your boy here is gon hav a good job tom'rr'w. Cel'brate!" Mathias could feel the heat radiating off of Lukas, and had to stifle a chuckle. Why did Lukas have to be so damn cute? "Mat!" Mathias attention was brought back to the drunken German, who was now leaning over the majority of the table, "Go'an take'em to the bar up there. Find'em something." Gilbert flailed in the general direction of the bar,"I'll hold down the fort!" At that, Mathias let out a deep laugh.

"Okay okay, if it'll calm you down, Gil." Mathias slid out of the booth, much to Lukas' displeasure, and offered him a hand. Lukas gave Mathias an agitated glare before placing his own hand in Mathias' outstretched one. When he stood, Mathias gave him a sympathetic look, "Just humor him, or he isn't gonna leave you alone." Lukas let out a defeated sigh and allowed Mathias to lead him to the crowded bar. "So was I right? You don't like alcohol?"

Lukas tightened his grip on Mathias' hand, "Kind of. I don't drink often, so I haven't found anything that I really like. I'd rather stick with soda or something."

"Well, you can mix certain drinks with soda, Alfred really likes Vodka and Coke." He paused as they had to avoid running into a drunk couple, "Although, don't tell Gil that. Can't have him blabbing to Arthur that Al was drinking under-aged. He'd have a cow!" Lukas smirked, and Mathias counted it as a small victory. The pair eventually found a couple of empty seats and helped themselves to them. A few moments later, a peppy bartender with a gren ribbon in her blond-brown hair made her way to them.

"Hey there, boys. My name's Emma, what can I get'cha?"

"Don't know yet," Mathias winked at her, nodding to Lukas. "He doesn't know what he likes, and I'm playing DD."

"Excellent!" Emma rested her elbows on the counter and directed her attention to Lukas, "I can mix anything you want, sweetie. Do you need some suggestions?" Lukas blushed and nodded, sneaking a quick glance in Mathias' direction. Mathias gave him a thumbs up, and Emma began listing popular combinations. Mathias watched as Lukas slouched, overwhelmed by the amount of information the bartender was spilling out to him. He placed his elbow on the counter, head in hand, and studied Lukas intently with a grin. He was wearing casual clothing for once, blue jeans and a deep violet T-shirt with sneakers. His hair was pulled back on the side with it's usual cross hair pin, with a slight curl in the back that would never flatten out. He definitely made Mathias look as if he were overdressed; black pants with a short-sleeved red button up, which was extremely odd. He was so beautiful. "-and it ends up tasting a lot like strawberry soda."

"Oh." Lukas perked up with interest, "I like strawberry soda." Mathias' face flushed as he felt his heart skip a beat, there Lukas was again being too damn cute!

"Excellent!" Emma cheered, "I'll get right on that. You boys have a tab open?"

"Uh Yey-yeah." Mathias stammered, "It's under Beilschmidt. Hey um, Emma? Where's the bathroom here?"

Emma smiled and pointed behind Mathias and Lukas, "It's right over there, other side of the dance floor, men's is the second door on the left."

"Thanks," Mathias turned to Lukas as Emma left to fill his order, "I'll be right back. You'll be fine here, right?" Lukas was about to respond when another song began blaring even louder than the last. They both glanced over to the dance floor just in time to spot Alfred grinding with an attractive girl with long black hair in a skin tight green dress.

"I guess he's over Ivan now, huh?" Lukas rolled his eyes at the sight.

"Nah," Mathias chuckled. "After a while he becomes easy to read, he's still hurting. See, he's not even looking at her." Mathias was correct, every time the girl faced Alfred, he looked away. Mathias let out a sigh, worried for his best friend. He looked back at Lukas, and felt his face flush once again. "For real though, I'll just be a bit."

"Alright. I'll keep an eye on Alfred. Maybe he'll do something stupid that we can laugh about later." Mathias let out a snort, then jumped off his seat and made his way through the sea of dancing bodies, a lot more than when they had first arrived as the night went on, and located the second door to the left. He pushed the it open and made a beeline for the sinks. The music was muffled within the tiled walls, allowing Mathias to finally hear his own thoughts again. Setting his palms on the marble counter, he stared at his reflection in the large mirror. Good god, he was red. He quickly turned on the cold water, gathering a handful and splashing it on his face to cool down. He stood there, leaning over the counter, and released a long sigh. Mathias already had realized how important Lukas was to him, but damn did he fall hard. Mathias looked back up to the mirror, the red was fading, but at the cost of his hair gel.

"Damn." Mathias cursed under his breath as he reached for the paper towels, and dried off the the best of his ability. He called it good enough, although some droplets still clung to his hair, and tossed the towels in the trash on his way out. Mathias made his way back to the dance floor to find an even greater number of people. Suddenly, he felt his pocket vibrate. He pulled out his phone and found a text from Matthew.

 _"I see you, don't move omw"_

Mathias looked up from his phone in time to see the quieter of the twins a few feet in front of him. He waved at Matthew, who quickly waded through the crowd. He reached Mathias' side, and yelled a greeting.

"No good, you're still too quiet!"

Matthew huffed, then leaned onto Mathias' shoulder, shouting in his ear, "I said I lost Alfred!"

"No kidding! Look at the place!" Mathias gestured to the crowded dance floor. "We should probably find him and make our way back to Gil. Who knows how messed up he is by now." Mathias laughed as his gaze fell back onto the bar where Lukas still sat, watching the dancers. "We saw him earlier, Lukas said he'd keep an eye on Al..." Mathias cut short as a burly man in a gray suit took the open spot next to Lukas. The man eyed Lukas with a hungry look, which sent shivers down Mathias' spine. Concerned, Matthew followed Mathias' gaze to the scene. Mathias took a couple steps, protective instincts urging him forward, then stopped dead in his tracks as the man pulled a white packet out of his sleeve. He ripped the corner of the packet, and poured its contents into a drink. The drink directly next to Lukas. Lukas who was not paying attention to the sleaze sitting next to him. Lukas who was now absentmindedly reaching for that very drink. No. Suddenly the music wasn't so loud.

"Oh mon dieu! Shit!" Matthew shrieked.

"NO!" Panic surged through Mathias as he hurried forward, shoving people aside as quickly as he could with Matthew on his heels. People shouted at them as their dates were knocked away, but Mathias didn't notice. "LUKAS!" It was no good, the music was too loud. Familiar realization struck Mathias like lightning.

 _It's happening. It's happening again._

Mathias' head began to spin in fear. His nightmare plagued his mind once more, his heart pounded in his chest. "LUKAS!" Mathias wailed as the glass touched Lukas' lips. Flaming branches fell to the ground.

He was too late. Again.

But this time he could do something. Reaching Lukas, Mathias smacked the spiked drink out of his hand, spilling the contents.

"What the hell, Mathias!?" Lukas shouted as Mathias turned to the scumbag in the suit, slamming his fist in the man's face with his full strength, making the surrounding area gasp and shriek. The man fell backwards with a grunt, and Mathias went after him again.

"What the fuck!?" Emma yelled from behind the counter, but Mathias paid her no attention. Matthew could explain to her.

"Mathias what is your problem?!" Lukas demanded, causing the Dane to turn, dropping the man on the ground. Lukas was standing, staring at Mathias in disbelief, and then it happened. Lukas' knees gave out, forcing Mathias' rage into panic. He reached out just in time to catch Lukas, keeping him from hitting the floor. More gasps erupted from the spectators.

"Lukas, no. No no nono, nei! I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone." Worried tears began to cloud Mathias' vision. "You'll be okay, I promise." Panic glazed over Lukas' own eyes as his breathing quickened. "Du vil være godt." Mathias repeated, stroking Lukas' cheek as his eyes closed and his consciousness left him. A grunt sounded behind Mathias as the man struggled to his feet. Mathias looked over his shoulder, filled with rage as the man started running.

"STOP THAT ASSHOLE!" Emma's voice rang through Mathias' ears, and he looked up to the bar in shock. Emma had a foot on the counter, ready to run with a cell phone at her ear. However, before she could hop the bar another voice grabbed Mathias' attention.

"HERO KICK!" Out of nowhere, Alfred ran past, then slid like he would on the diamond, knocking the man back to the ground and tackling him. He pinned the man to the ground, and glanced back over his shoulder at Mathias giving a thumbs up. Mathias sighed with relief, then looked back down at the unconscious Lukas in his arms. Time seemed to slow down, Mathias barely remembered the music stopping, the sirens, the ride to the hospital.

Mathias sat in his living room, dazed and staring at the ceiling. His ears were stilling ringing in response to the music at the club. Lukas regained consciousness long enough for the hospital to change him into set of Mathias' pajamas, as they for some stupid reason cut his clothing off instead of removing them like a normal person, and discharged him. Francis had met the rest of the group at the club and took Alfred and Gilbert home, allowing Mathias to put all his attention towards Lukas. They assured Mathias that Lukas would be perfectly fine and just have symptoms of a normal hangover the next morning. However, he faded back out before Mathias could get an address from him. Emil wasn't answering his phone, so now Lukas was passed out in Mathias' bed. He shifted his gaze down to the clock on his cable box. It was three in the morning. Matthew was asleep on the living room floor. He had insisted on helping out as much as he could, and Mathias was too worn out to complain. Mathias let out a groan and threw his head back against the couch. He knew he needed to get to sleep, but visions of his nightmare and of the club overwhelmed him. He glanced over to his bedroom door, and let out a sigh. New determination began to flow through him. He would never let something like this happen to Lukas again. He would protect Lukas with his life if he had to. He closed his eyes and yawned. He needed sleep. He needed this high paying job. Then Lukas would forever be safe. Before he knew it, Mathias was asleep.

Oh mon Dieu: - Oh my god

Nei: - No

Du vil være godt.: - You will be well/You will be okay


	4. Mute Swan

Mute Swan

Pain.

Sharp, excruciating pain sliced through Lukas' body, leaving the Norwegian whimpering in tears. Curled into the fetal position, Lukas used both hands to apply pressure to his temples in attempt to alleviate this unbearable sensation. Slowly opening his eyes, Lukas was relieved to find the room barely lit. Just the thought of having to deal with a light source while in this condition sent shivers down his spine. Eventually the pain faded, or maybe he got used to it, who knows? Lukas shifted in the covers to lie on his back with an arm over his forehead, and stared absentmindedly at the ceiling fan above.

Wait. Ceiling fan?

Lukas sat up in a panic, and studied his surroundings. This wasn't his room. Why wasn't he in his room? That means this isn't his bed. Whose bed is it? How did he get here? This room was quite a bit larger than his own, equipped with a double bed and what looked to be a walk-in closet. Lukas quickly removed the blankets and jumped to his feet. Orange pajamas? He doesn't own a pair of orange pajamas. A dresser opposite of the bed caught his eye, the top of it was lined with picture frames and various nick-knacks. He fumbled over to the dresser, discovering his legs to be still a bit unresponsive, yet determined to find some kind of clue to his whereabouts. He grabbed onto one of the drawer handles, lightly knocking the dresser into the wall in doing so. Frames rocked as Lukas balanced himself, and glanced at the images of the past trapped behind glass, or maybe it was plastic. It didn't matter. What happened to him? Why were his legs so weak? Lukas scanned the faces in the photographs, stopping at a small golden frame. A man with a familiar obnoxious smile stood, a roll of paper in hand, with three other blonds. A graduation?

Mathias. Lukas was with Mathias. That was Mathias in the picture. They went out last night. Drinking. Drinking? Lukas doesn't drink. No, but Mathias had him order something. Strawberry soda.

Lukas furrowed his brows, bringing a hand to rub his forehead. His memory was foggy, and his headache was returning. He tried to think back on last night's events. He needed to remember. Mathias had him order a drink. Then the feeling of falling overwhelmed him. His grip tighten on the drawer handle to keep himself upright. What was this vision? Ceiling lights being blocked by something, the world spinning. That's right, he was drugged. Drugged. Something wet dripped onto his face; water? Sweat?

Mathias.

It was Mathias above him. What was Mathias doing above him? His hair was a mess... and wet? Sweat? Oh.

 _Oh._

No.

Mathias wouldn't. Would he?

 _"I don't know if I can control myself if we keep this up..."_

Lukas covered his mouth as a sharp gasp escaped him. He stumbled backwards, landing on the floor beside the bed. Mathias' words from the previous day echoed through his mind. _No._ Mathias drugged him! What else did he do? Tears began to flow without Lukas realizing it. What was this? Obviously fear, but something else. Betrayal. Heartbreak? Lukas' breath hitched in his throat as heavy sobs shook his body. Mathias took advantage of him! He couldn't control himself after all. Lukas wanted to scream, but his voice wouldn't come. He pulled his knees into his chest, burying his head in his arms. He felt so small, so alone, so defenseless.

"Lukas?" Lukas' eyes widened and the sobs stopped. He didn't notice the door opening. He slowly lifted his head towards the voice. Over the top of the bed, Lukas could see Mathias. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of the Dane dressed in a nice black button-up tucked into dark red slacks, a red vest and tie on top. _No, stop thinking he's attractive, he betrayed your trust!_ Mathias stared at him with a raised eyebrow, "You're awake. Are you okay? What are you doing on the ground?" He took a step forward, causing Lukas to panic.

"St-stay the fuck away from me!" Lukas forced the words out, voice cracking. Mathias flinched. Lukas crawled backwards in attempt to get away, only to find himself pressed against a nightstand. Crap.

"Wh-what?" Mathias looked taken aback. "Lukas... I... I see," Mathias glanced away with a thoughtful look, "You're probably just waking up and remembering what happened to-"

"Ja jeg husker!" Lukas spat, forgetting the English words as distress was quickly replaced with anger. How dare he just stand there? His nonchalant behavior infuriated him. "Jeg husker nok, drittsekk!" Lukas reached up to the top of the nightstand, using it as leverage to pull himself to his feet. He needed to get away, to get help, to get as far away from this pain as possible. But Mathias was in his way, standing as solid as a statue.

"Drittsekk...? Me?" Mathias' sharp blue eyes burned into Lukas as he shook his head slightly. "I'm not the asshole, Lukas, I promise." Mathias started towards him again, hand outstretched as if Lukas were a stray cat to be coaxed out from hiding. No. He needed to get away from him.

"Løgner! Jeg så deg på toppen av meg! Jeg husker!" Lukas screeched at Mathias, his vision becoming blurry as tears formed yet again. He had to get past Mathias. How? Mathias could out run him even on a good day. His legs hit against something as he tried to back away. He glanced down behind him. The nightstand. That's it. He looked back up to find Mathias staring at him, wide-eyed and jaw dropped.

"Me... On top of..." Mathias whispered as he shook his head again, and Lukas was relieved to see him stop in his tracks. "No... No, Lukas you have it all wrong." It was now or never. Lukas quickly reached behind him, grabbing a bronze lamp off of the nightstand. On shaky legs, he took a step forward, reaching out and grabbing Mathias by the tie. Shocked by this sudden movement, Mathias stumbled backwards. Lukas raised the lamp above his head, and Mathias gasped as he realized what was happening. Mathias moved his arms to defend himself, but Lukas was faster, and the base of the lamp met the side of Mathias' face with one heavy swing. Lukas lost his grip on the tie, and Mathias went flying sideways, hitting the ground with a thud. Lukas' knees buckled as he fought for breath. He did it, now he can get away. His victory was short lived, however, as Mathias stirred with a groan. He placed a groggy hand on his face where the lamp struck, then quickly pulled it away. "Fuck. I'm bleeding."

Lukas brought his attention to Mathias. A large bruise was forming on his cheek, and in the center was an open gash. Mathias looked at Lukas, fear in his eyes, and Lukas felt a wave of satisfaction. The roles were reversed, and now it was Mathias's turn to hurt, to feel pain. Lukas felt himself become overwhelmed with rage once more, and started stalking towards Mathias, knuckles white from his grip on the lamp."Gjorde det betyr noe for deg? Var det bare en løgn?" Lukas began shouting, his voice growing higher pitched as he went. Lukas took a deep, shuttering breath. His world was spinning again, and all he could think of was their kiss just days before. His heart shattered."Blø, drittsekk..."

"Wait! Lukas!" Mathias wailed, dragging himself backwards on the ground with one arm extended in attempt to hold off the fuming Norwegian. "Before you decided to murder me, let me explain!"

"Hold kjeft!" Lukas cried, lifting the lamp once more."Du trenger ikke å ta meg med makt, ville jeg ha gitt det til deg hvis du bare hadde bedt!" He tried to bring the lamp down on the man before him, but nothing happened. Confused, Lukas turned his gaze to his arm, and found a pair of blue-violet eyes staring back at him, wild with concern. Matthew's face was contorted in fear as he clung to Lukas' wrist.

"Lukas what the hell!?" Matthew snapped, taking his eyes off of Lukas and directed his attention to Mathias. He let out a sharp gasp at the slight of Mathias' bloody face and hand. "Oh my god. What did you do?"

"La meg gå, Matthew!" Lukas growled as he struggled to remove himself from Matthew's grasp, but the strawberry blond held firm.

"I, What? No." Matthew furrowed his brows, a slightly shocked look on his face at how similar that phrase was to its English equivalent. "Why are you attacking Mathias?"

"Han fortjener det! Han tok fordel av kroppen min!" Lukas began crying, loosening his grip on the lamp enough for Matthew to take it from him and quickly toss it onto the bed out of his reach.

"I have no idea what you just said, but please stop." Matthew begged with a quivering voice

"He..." A shaking sob grabbed Matthew's attention, and he looked down towards Mathias, who seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown. The color was gone from his face, and he was trembling. "He thinks I-I-I-I-I-I r-r-raped him." Mathias' shoulders shook violently as silent tears erupted from within him.

"What!?" Matthew yelped, turning once more towards Lukas and planting his hands on his shoulders. "Mathias did no such thing! He saved you, Lukas. I swear!"

"Nei..." Lukas sobbed, falling face first into Matthew's shoulder. The twin moved to hold Lukas in a protective embrace as Lukas' knees gave out, forcing the pair to the ground. Several moments passed, with the only sound being that of Lukas' sobs.

"Mat..." Matthew placed his cheek on Lukas' head as he whispered as to avoid agitating Lukas, "You should go clean yourself up." Mathias stared at Matthew, unable to speak. "Go to that interview, you need that income. I'll take care of things here." Reluctantly, Mathias nodded and struggled to his feet, leaving the distraught Lukas in Matthew's care.

Mathias arrived home after a surprisingly successful interview, all things considering. He landed the job, and would start that upcoming Monday. He did have to awkwardly explain the bruise and patch on his face, but luckily he would not be directly interacting with customers. He stood nervously beside his front door, unsure about what was waiting for him on the other side. When he had left earlier that morning, Matthew had assured him that everything would be fine. That he would explain everything to Lukas after he calmed down. That had been five hours ago. Surely that was enough time? Maybe he should take another walk about the complex? No. He had to confront this and get it over with.

Mathias took a deep breath, and inserted the key into the lock, slowly turning it and pushing the door open. He stepped inside, cautiously checking the area for anything that may come flying at him. Without turning, he slowly closed the door, and placed his keys on the hook. He left the entry way and turned the corner into the living room, where his breath caught at the sight of Lukas sitting on the couch, still in his pajamas. Lukas looked over his shoulder at the sound of Mathias entering, and immediately adverted his gaze. And awkward silence fell between them. Mathias shifted on his feet, unsure of what to do. Lukas' accusation still fresh in his mind.

 _You don't have to take me by force, I would have given it to you if you had just asked!_

 _He deserves it! He took advantage of my body!_

Mathias shuttered, and ran a hand down his arm in attempt to flatten his goosebumps. He wondered if Matthew had managed to properly explain what really happened, and if Lukas would even believe him. What would he do if he didn't? Would they even still be friends? The thought of losing Lukas sent spikes of fear throughout him, and he felt as if his heart was being ripped from his body. He had to know, he had to break this silence.

"Did you-"

"Mathias-"

Both men stopped short, surprised to have spoken at the same moment. Lukas looked away, pink beginning to stain his skin. "You... you go ahead."

Mathias left go of his breath, and relaxed his shoulders. "Oh. I just... I just wanted to ask if you had eaten anything yet..." Mathias quickly brought his gaze to the hallway, away from Lukas. Another long pause passed between them, and Mathias was certain that Lukas could hear the heavy beating of his heart.

"How can you possibly think about that right now?" Lukas' voice cracked, and Mathias immediately turned towards him. Lukas was sitting, faced backwards on the couch towards Mathias. He was looking directly at him, eyes seemingly clouded over with way too many emotions.

"I'm concerned about you." Mathias sighed, "You've had a real shitty past twenty-four hours."

"So have you..." Lukas murmured, almost too soft for Mathias to catch.

"No, don't you think that." Before he realized what he was doing, Mathias made his way over the couch, and sat on the floor in front of Lukas. "I'm so sorry. If I hadn't left you alone, none of this would have happened." Mathias paused and braced himself, expecting some sort of physical response. This was his fault, and he had just approached Lukas suddenly yet again. But nothing happened. He opened one eye to peak up at Lukas, who was sitting quietly, staring at him with an exhausted expression. Eventually, Lukas let out a sigh, and reached out a hand towards the injury he inflicted upon Mathias. Out of reflex, Mathias flinched at the movement, causing Lukas to pull back. His eyes held distress and panic as he glanced down at his own hand.

"I hurt you." Lukas held his hands close to his chest, avoiding eye contact. "And not just physically. I can't be forgiven. And... to answer your question, yes I have eaten. Alfred brought something when he came to pick up Matthew."

"I see. Good." Mathias sighed, inwardly cursing himself for flinching. "I was wondering where Mattie was... Although, you could've had them take you home. Why did you stay? I thought you would hate me now..."

"I don't think I could ever hate you." Again, Lukas whispered almost too softly. "Even when I thought... I shouldn't have thought..." Lukas' breath hitched, but he forced himself to continue. "After Matthew explained, it all came back. Clearly this time. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, no." Mathias shifted to a more comfortable sitting position, "Don't ever apologize for protecting yourself. You even warned me when we first started dating that you've had issues trusting people, so I should've known better than to come near you right away." Mathias gave a small smirk, "But I'm glad you did what you thought you had to do."

"I shouldn't have thought I needed to do that!" Lukas wailed, desperation heavy in his voice, "I was so devastated when I thought... I couldn't handle it..." Lukas paused, as a sob caught in his throat. Mathias took the moment to lift himself off the floor and take the spot on the couch next to Lukas, who didn't seem to mind, "I've never had someone who meant this much to me, I completely panicked!"

"What about Emil?" Mathias mentally slapped himself as soon as the words came out of his mouth.

"That... He's different, obviously. This isn't the same." Lukas shuttered, "Mathias, I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified. I don't know what to do." For what was quite possibly the fourth time in the past day, time seemed to stop around Mathias. His jaw dropped in surprise as he stared at the beautiful, yet confusing Norwegian sitting in front of him.

"I... I'm sorry I didn't catch..." Mathias let out a breath, "Could you repeat that?"

Lukas' eyes widened as he realized what he said, "I-I-I don't know what to do..."

"No, before that."

"He's different, this isn't the same." Lukas gave Mathias a glare, which caused Mathias to grin uncontrollably.

"Nah, after that."

Lukas blushed, and turned to face away from Mathias. "I... think I'm in love with you..." Lukas was startled as Mathias slapped both hands onto his own face, apparently not caring about the pain from the gash on his cheek as he giggled to himself.

"Yes! That! Oh thank the gods I heard that right!" Mathias squealed and squirmed in what one might describe to be a happy dance, "That's the best damn thing I've ever heard! And here I thought I'd be the one to give in and say it first!" Mathias quickly grabbed Lukas' hands before he had time to protest, "I love you too."

Ja jeg husker!: - Yes I remember!

Jeg husker nok, drittsekk!: - I remember enough, asshole!

Drittsekk: - Asshole

Løgner! Jeg så deg på toppen av meg! Jeg husker!: - Liar! I saw you on top of me! I remember!

Gjorde det betyr noe for deg? Var det bare en løgn?: - Did it mean anything to you? Was it just a lie?

Blø, drittsekk...: - Bleed, asshole...

Hold kjeft!: - Shut up!

Du trenger ikke å ta meg med makt, ville jeg ha gitt det til deg hvis du bare hadde bedt!: - You do not have to take me by force, I would have given it to you if you had just asked!

La meg gå, Matthew!: - Let me go, Matthew!

Han fortjener det! Han tok fordel av kroppen min!: - He deserves it! He took advantage of my body!

Nei: - No


End file.
